The last time I made an entry on this blog I mentioned I was going to sit with my brother on a Wednesday morning while he had an intravenous lasik treatment at the hospital. He was being treated for fluid retention around his heart and lungs. Basically congestive heart failure. A number of visits to the ER and three or four days at a time spent in the hospital and they still could not figure out what was going on. He also has poor kidney function so they had to be very careful treating the fluid because it would effect the kidneys.
I left my house on Wednesday morning and went to get a quick manicure and then I headed up to the hospital to meet with him and spend the three hours it would take for the treatment. When I got to the hospital he wasn't there. The receptionist at the front lobby called the treatment area and he was not there. They didn't tell me whether he had missed his appointment or it had been changed. I wasn't too concerned, it could have been changed. So I started calling him on his cell phone and driving toward his apartment. Because he lived on the first floor, when I got there I noticed that the blinds where open and the windows. It was a cool morning so I figured he had gotten up and opened everything to get some air flow. I looked in the one window and I could see straight through to the kitchen and the other window and could see straight through to the bathroom, but I didn't see him. I called to him, range the door bell, knocked. The front door was ajar a little but the storm door on the outside of the apartment was locked so I could get in. A maintenance man came to me and asked what was going on, I told him. He immediately went to the main office of the complex and came back and told me that the manager told him to let me in immediately. He went around back of the apartment because we thought maybe my brother was in the laundry room. He came through the apartment and opened the door for me. I asked if he saw my brother and he said no. I went into his bedroom and there he was on the floor right beside the bed in the only area of the apartment where I could not see through the windows. I screamed to him. I touched his face. He was cold. I slapped him, I pounded on him, nothing. The maintenance man called the lifeguard at the pool, but we all knew there was nothing we could do. He also called 911. They came and hooked him to a heart monitor, nothing. The Medical Examiner came and it was final.
The maintenance man who was a total stranger, then became my best friend. He held me and tried to calm me while the whirlwind of activity started around us. I can still smell the fresh cut grass on his shirt, the lawn mower oil and gas and his cigarettes. He shirt was soaking wet by the time I was able to calm down. Not from sweat but from my tears. I screamed into my cell phone for my husband, who rushed to me with his very old jeep like a brand new car running a NASCAR race. I had to phone my daughter, she was at work. I spoke to one of her girls at the store and gave her a heads up. I didn't even know the young lady. I said I was sorry to have to do this to her. She was strong and brave and held my daughter's hand until my husband got there to pick her up. At this point I was alone, standing outside his apartment while the police and defective and ME did their thing. They had to take pictures, count pills and make reports. Each and everyone of them came to me a intervals to make sure I was alright and needed anything. My daughter arrived with my husband and we held each other and cried and not much longer after that the funeral director came. A very good friend of the family. He took over and I then knew I didn't have to worry about anything. I will do an entry soon about the week that followed. An amazing week with amazing people. I will never ever leave this place and the people I love and who love me. It's been one week. They say the pain will ease. I fell no easement
At some point in time I will also do an entry about my brother. It will be very long. I can't do it now.
I am meeting with his cardiologist tomorrow to try and get some closure. Because he was a heart patient his doctor agreed to sign a death certificate without and autopsy. I totally agreed.
I will also do an entry soon about the week that followed. An amazing week with amazing people. I will never ever leave this place and the people I love and who love me. It's been one week. They say the pain will ease. I fell no easement.
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